Lessons from my previous films

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 1:04 AM, November 18 

I should be sleeping now. I have a big film shooting tomorrow but I wanted to take this time to reflect on some things that I have done before, that I do not want to repeat again. I just thought it would make sense for me to write a short blog about it because apparently this is my safe space.  I like this. One day, when I will get old and famous, someone will read these, maybe my kids and have a perception of me when I was young. I think it's pretty cool to know your younger dad. How was he? What were his ambitions? What broke him? What made him happy? 

Ha- before diving into that tangent let me just quickly reflect on my previous directing fails that I do not want to repeat tomorrow. I will be documenting this film projects journey as well, as best as I possibly can. "THE FLOWER AT THE END OF THE WORLD" 

The first thing that comes to mind is the sacrifices I make when shooting. I am a little too gentle at times, especially with my actors. I feel their movement and feel their stress with each take. I get hit by their gestures at times, and the gestures of the crew involved, everyone waiting for me to say, that's the perfect take. So, sometimes I tend to think more about the humans involved on creating the picture then the picture itself and it comes back to haunt me in edit. I should become a little more obsessive with my vision. Stick to it more because I see things clearly, yet, I sometimes settle for the less worthy. I should not do that in this shoot. Even for the sake of the team involved, by this, I don't mean be disrespectful or do not think about them, I just mean to make everyone understand the path we are following, the precision we want and the destiny that awaits us. That sounded so much more dramatic then I intended but- I like it. 

The second flaw that my directing has is to not truly understand how the actors are showcasing these emotions. I have quiet a hard time judging the perfect performance. Most of the time, I am so engulfed by the camera positions and the framing ( I consider myself a visual heavy director ) that I forget to feel what the characters are supposed to feel. I always tend to worry about the technicals, but, although not an excuse I have been doing that because I have either worked with noobs or did some stuff myself (I am a noob too ) and while doing that you kinda have your attention splited. But tomorow I have a good chance to actually focus on the tempo and understanding the scene as we go on. 

The third flaw is that I tend to make quick decisions. As a director you are expected to make a quick decision and I do that but most of the time its not a thoughtful decision. It's just a quick decision. This ends. up hurting me in post. I need to stick to my vision, understand myself better and then make the right choice. 

The last flaw, for now cause I gota sleep, is that I tend to not shoot coverage (or atleast I didn't for the last shoot and I have an excuse for that as well but no excuse is going to work when making movies). Although I am very confident about my vision, not everything works, I always need those extra shots to help me guide the sequence. To maintain the tempo, to make the audience feel things. I need to be open to such ideas as well. 

That's it for now. I will come back and write a new blog on 20th November 2024, cause that is the first half of the shoot done. I am excited and also kinda numb (mostly because of the stern feeling a director needs to have) to go to shoot tomorrow. I hope my mind opens up as I sleep and my grand ma and god bless me to tell a good story. 

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